Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Weekend Reflections - Part 3

It wasn't until my Grandpa Adrian passed away that I truly understood the "loss" when someone dies. I'd always thought the "loss" was the fact that they were gone. And while that is partly true, the "loss" is so much more. With my grandpa Adrian, I had had so many plans for that summer that he died. I wanted to record some of his stories and spend some time with he and my kids. That wasn't able to happen. That's part of the "loss."

With Grandma Benzing it's somewhat different given the fact that I've lived quite a ways away from her for most of my life.

When I was 5, my parents moved to upstate New York. We lived in New York until I was married. I then lived in Maryland, Florida, and now Kansas. When I was a kid, going to see my grandparents was the highlight of my year! There was NOTHING like it. I LOVED spending time with them. As I've previously mentioned, they were such special people to me. We would pile in the car and from NY, it was a good 12 hour drive. Finally, we would be in OH and finally I would see this sign...

When I saw this sign, I would get so excited because I knew that right around the bend, my grandmother was waiting for me!! After I got married, I came for the 50th anniversary part in 1989 and again in 1991 or 1992. I then wasn't able to get back until Sarah's wedding in 2004. 12 years later!! As an adult, coming down that road and seeing this sign, I still got all excited because I knew Grandma was just around the bend waiting for me. Until this past weekend. I came down the road, saw the sign and that excitement was not there. I felt loss. She wasn't there anymore. I'm shedding a few tears as I write this. This is a testament to my grandmother. She made me feel so special and so loved. Yet, she had 30 grandchildren and as far as I could tell, they all felt that way also. Our family has suffered a loss. Her memory and her legacy will continue on. This world is a better place because of the life of Anna Mae Benzing and heaven is all the sweeter because she is there.

1 comment:

Gretchen said...

I am crying because I used to think the EXACT same thing when I saw that sign!