Life Stages

I turned 55 - one week ago today. And I'm going to college in the fall...for the first time.
It's all online but it's college nonetheless.
I'm going to study Psychology with a focus on Biblical counseling. 
I want to help people but in order to do that, I need tools. I want to listen effectively. 
I want to advise wisely and it's important to me to do that in the light of God's Word.
I'm excited and scared all at the same time.
I think I have to take both an English and Math assessment. I'm not too concerned about English but Math?? The last math class I was in was 9th grade algebra in 1980. 
Its going to be interesting to say the least.
So, I figured as I navigate through school and life as a 55 year-old grandma, it might be a great time to pick up my blog and bring anyone along for an interesting ride.

Every year at Christmas I love to bake cookies....lots of them.  Christmas 1994 came too fast and I didn't get the cookies made for Christmas Eve so I baked them for New Years. In late January, 1995, I noticed that I suddenly gained 10 pounds.  I knew I had eaten my fair share of those Christmas cookies but certainly not 10 pounds worth.  Cliff kept saying, You're pregnant, Rebecca."  I thought he was crazy.  I was on my way to set up for my Wednesday night kid's class at church when I decided to swing by the drug store and pick up a pregnancy test and prove him wrong.  Was I ever shocked when I looked at the results on the test.  I called him and said, "You're not going to believe this....

I'm PREGNANT!!!"

 From the beginning, I knew this would be my last pregnancy. We both knew that 4 children would complete our family. I loved being pregnant and I tried to take everything in and cherish everything that comes with expecting a child....the anticipation, the first flutterings of life, and the growing intenst love for a child I hadn't even met yet.

We had 3 chilren in our home - Joshua, Amy, and Jacob. I was afraid to hope for another girl.  The day of the ultrasound arrived and to my absolute delight, we were told I was going to have another daughter.  I chose her first name, Emily.  Her dad chose her middle name, Melissa.

 She arrived September 11th.  She was healthy, beautiful and an extremely laid-back content baby.  Emily has been my constant "side-kick" her entire life.  When we moved here to KS and I began working, she was able to come to work with me.  I set up a shelf for her in my office with little toys and videos.  To this day, some 15 years later, I still have a little basket of toys on that shelf.

Cliff and I knew she would be our last baby and we would calculate how old we would be when out last child would turn 18.  I don't quite know how the day has arrived so fast!  She is ready to fly.  Emily is talented and creative, strong and independant.  She knows what she believes.  She has strong convictions and a strong faith to back up those convictions.  She is responsible and very very sweet and kind. 

Happy 18th Birthday, Emily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Very Sweet Weekend

 

This weekend we had the opportunity to spend some time with 3 out of our 4 children.  Since Jacob changed schools this fall, he and Josh are now only 45 minutes from each other.  It was so great to spend time with my kids!

 

My mom's heart was so blessed watching and listening to them interact with each other....not as children but as adults.  It was interesting listening to them share with one another their dreams and goals for their futures. 

 

I intend to take advantage of the fact that the boys are so close to one another. Once Emily leaves for Florida next year and Josh heads to grad school, these moments will get fare and few between (pretty much the way it is with my own brother and sister).  I need the time with them but they need the time with each other as well.

 

Yesterday Emily mentioned that she always misses Jacob.  Those two grew up together.  However, she's used to Josh being gone but she doesn't realize how much she misses him until she spends time with him.

 

It was a sweet time!!!!!

 

August Changes - Part 2

Here she is!  My baby girl, Emily on her last first day of school.             

She was ready to start school this year so she can get it done. 

She is so ready to move on!

August Changes - Part 1

This is the third time I've watched this scene play out.  One of my kids loading up all their earthly posessions and heading out to life on their own.  This time its Jacob, and his cousin, Zack, and their friend, Noah. They backed a trailer up to my mom's and filled it up....on a very HOT day! 

Jacob has already done a year of school away from home. However, I don't think saying goodbye gets any easier...in fact, I know it doesn't!

Grandma was very generous to them and gave them all the furniture in her basement.  We also loaded them up with lots of essentials (cereal, snacks, etc)

The trailer was loaded and goodbyes were said and they were off!!

And things are quiet. (too quiet)



It's Been A While!

Somehow life has gotten away from me!  My last post was February 14 and amazingly enough, 6 months have passed!!

I have been absent from blogging for a while because I've needed some new purpose. I think I have found something.  My youngest child will be starting her senior year of high school in just a few weeks.  My first child was born in 1985 and now, 27 years later, after raising 4 children, I am seeing an empty nest on the very near horizon. 

I intend to fully enjoy this final year of "childhood" with Emily.  I hope to create a host of wonderful memories.  But deep inside, my mom's heart is hurting as I watch my youngest prepare to spread her wings and fly.  I've been down this road three times already and frankly I dread it.  It's so bittersweet. 

So, I will hopefully be blogging regularly on my journey to an empty nest. There will be other stuff too but I figure if for no one else, it might just be extremely therapeutic for me.

So, ready or not, here we go!!!!!

Life Stages

 

I figured out something this past week about grandchildren.  No, I don't have any yet but I think I understand a large part of the bond a grandparent has with the grandchild. 

The grandchildren fill the void that is left when your children have grown.

It also seems that the stage of life between when your children grow and leave and the time you have grandchildren can be a very nostagic and sometimes sad place.

 

This is me and my youngest child.  Thank God she is still at home.....for about 18 months more.  But she is at that stage of her life where she is active and has a life of her own.  I treasure our time together and yet I know it is so fast and fleeting!   And I find myself knee- deep in the nostagic and sometimes sad stage.

It's not bad.....it just is what it is.



Going Away Party

We threw a desert reception for Jacob so that people come by and tell him goodbye and wish him well before he left for college.  I did everything in purple and white (K-State colors) and everything came together beautifully.  The people were so kind to him, gave him cards, gifts, well-wishes, and encouragement and prayers.  I think he left feeling quite loved and appreciated.

House Divided is not only my house but Jacob himself.  It's hard to be a KU fan at K-State!!

Jacob's sister, Amy, made him two cookie cakes (one of his favorite deserts). One we served and this one he was able to take with him to school.

In addition to the cookie cakes, I made sugar cookies with buttercream frosting, yellow cupcakes with buttercream, purple velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, cake balls, and chocolate covered pretzels (another of Jacob's favorites).

Jacob and one of his very good friends from high school. 

Remembering My Grandparents

**Reposting from 2009 in Honor of My Grandparents:

The following is one of my favorite scrapbook pages:

Journaling: (written August 5, 2005)

"July 31, 2004 - A surprise had been planned for my grandparent's at my cousin, Sarah's wedding reception. Almost all of our huge extended family had come not only to celebrate Sarah & Dion's wedding but also to celebrate the 65th wedding anniversary of my grandparents, Donald and Anna Mae Benzing. Little did they know that a cake and time of recognition had been set aside to honor them. They were called up to the dance floor to be seated, surrounded by their 8 living children. As they made their way to the front, "The Anniversary Waltz" began to play. This was their anniversary song. I remember spending two prior anniversaries with them and watching them dance to it. I remember my grandpa, always so strong and my grandma, while strong herself, looking so beautiful and trim and the way they gracefully moved together, celebrating yet another year of their marriage. This anniversary, however, time had taken it's toll. Grandma had suffered several strokes and many illnesses and grandpa also had his share of health problems. Their steps were unsure and slow as they leaned heavily on canes or the arms of loved ones and made their way to the front. As they came together, they dropped their canes and grabbed on to each other and danced as they had danced so many anniversaries before. They held on to each other so tightly...as tight as the love they shared. Everyone present was moved to tears as we all felt what that embrace simply said. "I Love You." Even as I write these thoughts a year later, I am still moved by the sight of my grandparents...holding on to each other...dancing with each other...loving each other.

One Year Anniversary

This past Thursday, I reached a milestone.  I celebrated the one year anniversary since I started to get healthy.  I not only had to change what I was eating, but how I was eating, I had to start moving, and I had to go deeper and deal with some emotional & spiritual issues as well.  The changes have taken place through my entire being.

Physical changes, frankly, are quite straight-forward.  Eating changes have been drastic as I've cut out all fast-food, sugars, almost all grain products, and high-fat foods.  What I'm left with is a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables, and lean protien.

Exercise has been primarily walking.  I started doing what I could.  30 minutes 5 days a week. It was HARD.  My back and my calves would hurt so bad!  I have walked through the seasons outside and I now prefer to walk on my treadmill.  I walk at a higher rated of speed and feel like I get a far better workout.  I now do 70 minutes 5-6 days a week and am up to 3.25 miles.  I also just started a water aerobics class on Mondays that is pure fun and 60 minutes of non-stop moving.

Emotional and spiritual issues were a bit harder to deal with.  In fact, they were things I could not heal on my own.  The Lord had to come in and do His healing work in areas of my life that were hidden down deep in my being.  I'm so thankful He turned on the Light of His Truth in those dark places.



Exactly one month before starting



December (a little over 6 months) - 70 pounds lighter

Almost one year - 93 pounds lighter!

I now live life...it isn't passing me by as I watch from the couch.  I'm active and healthy.  My energy levels are through the roof.  Its amazing how that happens when weight comes off and you start to move.  The pain in my back, calves, and knees?  Gone.  My frame was never meant to carry all that weight.  Am I at my goal?  No.  There is still work to be done.  Do I get discouraged?  YES!  So I try to remind myself how amazing this year has been so how much more will next year be!!

My advice to anyone who desire to shed some pounds is: First of all, you CAN do it.  You have to believe that.  It's HARD!  There are NO shortcuts.  Initially the choices are hard but once you cross over the hurdle, it becomes a way of life and it does get easier.  Second, don't neglect the emotional and physical.  There's a reason people eat for comfort or when they're bored or sad.  Plateaus will come.  Discouragement is going to happen but you've got to keep going.  It isn't always easy but it's ALWAYS worth it!!

Heading Home

Our vacation was wonderful.  We saw everything we wanted to do. We spent time with family and friends and just had a good time.  However, nothing beats going back home.  I was so glad to get back to my day-to-day life and with the people who make up my every day life.

We got back around 10:30 at night.  As we passed the front of the house, I noticed a flag flying off our front porch.  I thought, "How nice, mom put up a flag."

The next day, I asked Jacob where the flag came from and he said, "Grandma did some stuff out there."  To my surprise, my mom painted and decorated my front porch for my birthday since I love sitting out there.  It is so pretty and looks like the all-American front porch. 

Thanks, mom.  I LOVE it!!

NASCAR Day - Part 2

There is no way I could ever fit the essence of the Hall of Fame here. Nor could I post the several hundred pictures I took. If you are even slightly interested in NASCAR, the Hall of Fame is something you would definately enjoy.  It's not very pricey and we spent 3 1/2 hrs there and still didn't see and do everything.

The Grand Hall.  In the background you can see "Glory Road."  It shows the evolution of the race car and also features cars that have won significant races.  They are displayed from 0 - 36 degree banking. 

Dale Earhardt Sr. & Jeff Gordon's cars on Glory Road

Me, trying to stand on the 33 degree banking.  It doesn't look that steep on TV!

Cliff & Hank getting in the 48 simulator car.  Cliff almost won the race (he got hit on the last 1/2 lap)

NASCAR DAY - Part 1

Those who know me, know that I am a NASCAR fan.  And those who know me also know that I am a Jeff Gordon fan.  So while we were planning our trip to Charlotte, NC to see the NASCAR Hall of Fame, I discovered that Hendrick Motorsports (the team that Jeff Gordon drives for) was just a hop and a skip away.  Since we were that close, I HAD to go! 

It was SO COOL!!!!!  I mean you are there, in their shop and garage.  We also just happened to be in the right place at the right time to see Kasey Kahne's pit crew practice.

Alan Gustafson (Jeff Gordon's crew chief in the garage)

Rick Hendrick's office

Cliff and I and our dear friends, Hank & Lynette who we had not seen for 20 years

Jeff & Kasey

The 48 and 88 cars

Jimmie Johnson's 5 championship trophies

Their beautiful facilities

Barely fitting in the cockpit of a race car.  I got in but I was a bit concerned about getting back out

5 team pit practice.

The ENORMOUS jumbo tron @ Lowe's Motor Speedway

Atlanta, GA

We spent a day in Downtown Atlanta with Cliff's family.  Emily and our 2 nephews had never been to the World of Coke so we spent an afternoon touring the museum. 

Emily and her cousin, Charlie

Cliff, his brother, Bill and Bill's neice, Scarlett

From the top of the parking garage, this is the view of the 1996 Olympic Flame. 

Cliff absolutely CANNOT go downtown Atlanta and not have lunch at the Varsity.  He looked forward to the chili-slaw dogs, onion-rings, and orange drink for weeks!

Me......deep in thought about something......

Mobile, AL

We planned on walking around Battleship Park in Mobile after the beach.  We didn't go on the ship (neither Emily or I were into it) but we did walk the grounds and there was plenty to look at.  The U.S.S. Alabama was impressive and you can't grasp how big it is until you see it in person.  There were several planes and tanks, and a helicopter on the grounds along with several war memorials. 

Cliff & Emily next to one of the ship's propellers

This was an awesome statue.

I LOVED the dog tag and flag in his hands